Spaceman Bill Lee (pictured above) will probably be the fourth or fifth starter for the Knights in 2008. He earned his nickname when, on his first view of Fenway’s Green Monster, he asked “Do they leave it there during games?” Spaceman was a breath of fresh (albeit tainted) air compared to today’s stars. While modern players are busy denying any use of steroids or other performance enhancements, Bill was quite open with his marijuana use. Like another famous Bill, Spaceman didn’t inhale. Rather, he said, he only sprinkled it on his breakfast cereal. Lucky Charms—they’re magically delicious.
What could work: Glavine should win 20 games…Spaceman (a fine control pitcher) could also be a surprise 15 to 20 game winner. Billy Pierce will strikeout the side many innings, and Sudden Sam McDowell will bring his blistering fastball back to Cleveland. Then there is the slap-happy offense. Napoleon “Larry” Lajoie returns to Cleveland to play second base and hit a blistering .350. Also hitting around .350, Joseph Jefferson “Shoeless” Jackson comes out of exile and history to patrol the field of dreams. Jesse Burkett, Larry Doby, Harry Heilman, and Edgar Martinez will make this lineup solid. Add Jeter at short and Buddy Bell at third, and this team can tolerate the one-time all-star (okay twice) Eddie Waitkus at first base.
What could fail: Pierce gives up too many homeruns in the Jake. Sudden Sam has almost as great a penchant for giving up walks and runs as he does for strikeouts. Glavine didn’t really prove himself in the Municipal League last year, and Spaceman might just be out there. There is no lights-out closer on the team. The Commissioner might suspend Shoeless Joe.
Result: 86-76. These fellas can hit. The team will finish with a batting average of .300.
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